At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
