I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
