Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Randomize
