I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
