so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
