elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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