i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
