I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Randomize
