And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
