Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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