why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
