Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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