just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
