So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize
