Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
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