Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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