he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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