why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize