I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
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