When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Randomize
