You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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