I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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