Non-Jews are for practice
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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