She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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