Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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