Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
