I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Randomize
