Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
