And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
