I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
