dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
