you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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