sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
