hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
