having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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