my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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