Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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