I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Randomize
