I want to stick my p in your. b.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
