did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
