I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
