you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
