The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
