I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
