dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
