i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
This baby is an asshole
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
