dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
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