you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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