Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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