she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
