Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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