yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Randomize
